Why we need to learn to take responsibility for our own actions, issues and emotions.

How to hold on to those we love and acknowledge our own feelings more effectively.

Have you ever had that argument with a friend or partner. We expect certain things and when our needs aren’t met we get upset, we get frustrated, we get angry. We then blame that other person for our feelings of unhappiness, instead of looking at what is really going on deep down. Whilst this might be an ‘easy’ way to deal with our emotions in an argument, its important for us to realise that we ourselves are in control of our thoughts, emotions and actions. By defaulting to anger, we push those we love away which in turn leads to resentment and vulnerability.

How to take responsibility

  1. Take time
    When a discussion or argument is becoming heated try and remove yourself by going into a different room. Take long deep breaths, focusing on your breath and imagine the oxygen you’re breathing in calming your body. Take time to reflect and ask yourself what is going for you in that moment. ‘What are you your true feelings and why are they causing you to feel angry?’
  2. Communication
    It is important for us to communicate with those we love so that they can understand what is going on for us in a particular moment. Explain to your partner or friend what it is that is causing you to feel so triggered in that exact moment. Communication is a key tool and will bring you closer together. It can prevent further feelings of anger and therefore resentment which in turn can create a stronger bond between you and that other person.

Relationships and friendships aren’t always easy sailing and there can be some tough times. The hard times are often what make the relationship stronger and more resilient. In recognising our issues and emotions and taking responsibility we engage in a positive process, keeping those we love closer instead of pushing them away.

If you are struggling to manage your issues and emotions it might be helpful to take up the practice of journaling. Read my posts Creating a fulfilling Journaling Practice and The Benefits of a mindful Journaling Practice.

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